Holiday Etiquette

Being Jewish, I've grown used to being in the minority. I understand that this is a predominantly Christian nation. This time of the year it just gets shoved in my face. I can't even go into Staples to buy paper without being bombarded with Christmas songs.

I grew up on Long Island, New York, a place where there is enough of a Jewish population for the schools to be closed on the high holy days in September/October and when I began working, I didn't have to use my own vacation days for those holidays.. Even though Christmas still dominates December (and November too), it always seemed easy to find Hanukkah decorations and gift wrap in the stores. The supermarkets all had a good sized Passover food section. I thought everyone knew what a dreidel was until I went to college up in Albany and met people from outside the NYC area (hard to do since 2/3 of the SUNY Albany student population was from the NYC area).

When I moved to S. Florida in 1991, I expected things to be similar. There was still a good sized Jewish population but not so much in the areas where I lived. I could still find the special items for Hanukkah and Passover but it wasn't as easy. I remember once driving up to a shopping mall in North Miami Beach in November. I went into a seasonal holiday store to get some Hanukkah cards. I was told by the store clerk that they didn't have any Hanukkah cards in stock "yet". She didn't understand how silly her answer was...Hanukkah was 2 to 3 weeks before Christmas that year. The first company I worked for in Florida, Kislak Mortgage, had a floating religious holiday that was mostly used for Good Friday by the Catholics and Yom Kippur for the Jews. The next company I worked for, Sunbeam Corp, didn't offer that and I had to use my vacation days if I wanted to take off.

I've been living in the Atlanta area for more than 11 years now. While working 7+ years at the job I moved here for, I had to use my vacation days for Yom Kippur. Of course they were closed on Good Friday, a federal holiday. I've been self-employed for several years now so I take off if I want to take off. I closed my gift shop on Yom Kippur and, now, I send an e-mail to my consulting client telling them that I'm not available that day. I went into the local Target store the other day and found the tiny Hanukkah section they had set up (better than the Target I used to go to when I lived on the other side of town...no Hanukkah stuff at all so I told the manager I was boycotting the store in December). When I was checking out, I told the assistant manager that they really need to offer more Hanukkah merchandise. There is a good sized Jewish population where I live now. She told me that non-Jewish customers complain if the Hanukkah section is too big. That sounds very odd to me but maybe it's true.

Businesses are so worried about being politically correct around the December holidays that many won't even put up a Christmas tree or a "Merry Christmas" sign anymore. They only use the generic "Happy Holidays" so as not to offend employees and customers. I have no problem with my employer putting up a Christmas Tree as long as they don't mind my putting out a Hanukkah menorah next to it. I'm all for equal time. There is a line though which is why I tend to hibernate in December. It's not fun having to listen to Christmas music in every store I set foot in, including the grocery store. I have several Christian friends to enjoy Christmas music but say that they're even sick of it by the time December even begins.

I used to fight with my mother when I was a teenager and she would wouldn't let me take a shift at Zorn's on Yom Kippur. It wasn't until I moved away from Long Island that I started to feel that I had to take off from work on Yom Kippur just to prove some point. Now I do it more to honor my ancestors. I don't go to synagogue. I just spend a quiet day at home with my yizkor candle.

So what's my point? My point is that it's ok to wish someone a Merry Christmas if you know that they celebrate Christmas. If you're not sure, say Happy Holidays to be on the safe side. If they ask you why you didn't say Merry Christmas, tell them that "Happy Holidays" was meant to cover New Years too. If you know someone who celebrates Hanukkah, we're fine with Happy Holidays but Happy Hanukkah is much appreciated.